Secret
by logan
Summary: somtimes knowing the truth is painful.... (TAIORA) a slight angst fic... but yet again it is comming from as guy who can't stand depressing endings... hope you all like it, feel free to review, i love to hear what you think ....


Disclaimer... I own nothing I have nothing, you've heard it before....

I wanted to write another semi deep one... it came out kinda angst, but I wouldn't call it the kind of fic that will result in a need for anti-depressants ^_^ you all know I hate endings that leave you sad.... well the end got kinda dumb and I personally don't think it came out as good as it sounded in my head... but hey I'll leave it to the reviewers to decide. Let me know what ya think at.... [logan91235@aol.com][1]

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_Secret_

By Logan

  
  
  
  
  
  


"Tai.... what's wrong with you?" Sora whispered as she stared out into the beautiful sunny afternoon outside.

  
  


Sora lay on her bed overlooking the small picture window from her room over the flower shop. The room was small, yet seemed infinitely cozy. The room had a warmth about it, hard to put into words yet as undeniable as the golden rays that shimmered out over the gardens. The room had freshly cut flowers adorning the golden mahogany desk. The soft flagrant roses cast a sweet spice to the still warm air of the summer afternoon.

  
  


Though the outside world was filled with sunshine and laughter, there was a darkness looming over the horizon. Sora kept the shades only partially open, creating a vast sea of shadow and darkness over the normally cheery room. The shadows seemed to match her mood as her mind drifted over the last few days.

  
  


She could feel that something was wrong with him. He had never once snapped at her like that. Sora cast her eyes away from the beautiful day outside to the dim light of the room. She cared for tai..... 

for the longest time she thought of him as her best friend.... yet that seemed far beyond her now. He was a dream to her.....

  
  


Time had worked wonders with Taichi...... Where once there was a loud and headstrong boy, now stood a kind, intelligent, and mature young man. He was strong in both body and mind, yet he was always so gentle to Sora that she felt safe within his grasp. Their friendship was always stronger than any obstacle. 

  
  


Sora had found that tai had ruined her for dating. She couldn't even look at a potential boyfriend without comparing him to the boy she had fallen in love with. They could never match up. They were missing something that tai always seemed to have. Wether it was courage, kindness, strength, tenderness, or just the way he smiled...... no one could come close to where he had managed to become a part of her heart..

  
  


These feelings she hid in the deepest corner of her heart. She hated the fact that she had fallen hopelessly in love with her best friend.........and couldn't tell him.

  
  


Her mind drifted back to the worrie that swelled within her. Tai had been acting so....different. He avoided her....he avoided them all. For the past week tai had seemed so angry with life in general. Those eyes that were so caring now shone with rage and ferocity.......and some fear.

Sora frowned lightly as she remembered...........

*************************************

  
  


"Tai.... what's wrong? you haven't said a thing to us all week." Sora said as she looked at him. 

  
  


He avoided her gaze.

  
  


She moved to intercept him as he began to skulk away. He stopped in his tracks as he found a determined Sora blocking his way. The others stood at the sidelines as they watched the two friends. They all knew that if any of them was going to be able to get through it would be Sora. She put her hands on his shoulders and softly spoke.

  
  


"Tai... what's bothering you?" she asked with pure concern in her voice.

  
  


With a jerky fast movement his head shot up and she found herself staring into his cold dark eyes.

She drew back as he stared into her with ferocity. Those chocolate brown eyes that had seemed so kind just days before now shone like blades of pure ice...... as sharp as a razor's edge and as cold as a bitter chill.

  
  


"It's none of your business Sora......" he growled as he brushed past her.

  
  


She stared in shock as he swept by her like a cold wind.

  
  


Matt shot forward grabbing him by his shoulder. With a swift movement the blond boy threw him against a wall with a explosive sound as he hit the smooth concrete. The others stood aghast.

  
  


"JUST WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH YOU?!!!!!!!" he screamed into tai's darkening expression.

  
  


With a sudden burst of strength tai threw matt back against the opposite wall and in one quick moment pinned him to it with one hand. 

  
  


Matt struggled against the grip, over time tai had grown stronger then any of the others had expected. With the slightest effort he could bring his right fist down, breaking matt's jaw. But instead he let matt fall to the ground stunned.

  
  


"It's none of your business......" he whispered as he shot past the group of onlookers. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


tai ran.....

  
  


He found himself shut away in the mens room sitting in a stall his hands gripping his face tightly... he was willing himself not to burst into tears, despite the desire to cry until no tears would be left for him.

  
  


"They'll hate me now....." he whispered softly.

  
  


"She'll hate me now................."

  
  


*************************************

  
  


Sora shuddered as she remembered the sound of his voice.....

  
  


She was almost afraid of him. The boy she had fallen so deeply in love with now seemed so lost. Sora knew him so well but she could feel that he was hiding something so scary inside..... she didn't pretend to know why he had acted so hateful, but she did know it wasn't him.....

  
  


Something was happening to him......

  
  


Something she was afraid would kill the boy inside she had cared for so long.....

  
  
  
  


She recognized something in him from the Digiworld. His eyes were so.... empty.....

  
  


She could remember the pit where the darkness swelled around her. All the years of hiding her pain at being forced to be perfect were given form in that black cavern...... the look he bore in his eyes was identical to her own..... he was hiding something.....

  
  


Something he didn't want any of them to know about..........

  
  
  
  
  
  


She felt rage burning within her. Here she was trapped here when he needed her..... something was hurting him, something that was tearing him up inside.... she knew it as if she could feel it for herself, in fact...... she almost could feel it. Helplessness was something Sora was beyond tired of... she knew that she would go insane from this..... 

she felt every part of her being telling her to go to him.... 

  
  


telling her he needed her.....

  
  
  
  


telling her she needed him......

  
  
  
  


Her eyes narrowing with determination she rose up and grabbed some cloths which she hurriedly threw on. She shot from the apartment like a bolt. She knew where he would be.....

  
  
  
  


**********************************

  
  
  
  


the wind whipped his hair as he stared out over the mid afternoon horizon. The city seemed so small and empty before him. Despite the deep golden glow that was radiating from the setting sun there was a feeling of impending darkness. Tai stared off emotionlessly over the town. From his perch on the roof of the apartment. The gusting winds at this altitude seemed to give tai a sense of loneliness. Though he was sure it wasn't the soft howling winds that was giving him that feeling......

  
  


The sun was setting rapidly as the golds shifted into crimson reds. It would be considered beautiful....but to tai it was lost...... 

  
  


He scowled as he recognized the shade of red the waters of the bay were now.... the sunset panted them the exact same color as Sora's eyes.....

  
  


He had found himself lost in those eyes so many times.... yet now if all went well the other day she wouldn't care if he was alive or dead....

  
  


"It's better this way......" he repeated over and over to himself. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He froze.... he could feel her with him.....

  
  
  
  
  
  


Sora stared over at the image of the young man. His features were concealed in crimson light and shadow. His soft tan skin shimmered darkly amidst the brilliant red setting sun. Sora felt her breath catch in her throat as she stared at him in awe.

  
  


The two stood together in utter silence.... 

  
  


She slowly walked tword him unsure of how he would receive her. Tai kept his eyes to the shimmering waters of the bay far bellow them. There was no sound save the wind's gentle howling. Tai could feel his muscles tense up as she laid a hand on his shoulder. He found that the contact felt good to him, yet he shrugged it off and turned to meet her gaze.....

  
  


"Why can't you just listen to me, and stay away?" he scowled.....

  
  


Sora looked up into his eyes, there was no anger, just sorrow.

  
  


"Because it's you tai...." she whispered.

  
  
  
  


He put his hands around her face forcing her to stare into his eyes. He seemed so weak from pretending to hate her that he wasn't even able to maintain a frown. They just looked into eachother eyes, unspoken words drifted between them as tai found himself no longer able to maintain the mock hatred.

  
  
  
  


He drew away and turned back to the horizon...........

  
  
  
  


"Tai... if you ever cared about me you'll tell me what is going on now...... I have a right to know."

  
  


"What right do you have? It's my life.... and it's something I don't want you to know...."

  
  


" DAMMIT TAI! It is my business.... what's hurting you is killing me."she growled

  
  


he turned to face her with a questioning look.

  
  


"I have lived my whole life with you there... you are my best friend for god's sake!

  
  


I feel you inside me....." she motioned to her chest.

  
  


"You are the only boy in the whole world I love! I need to know what is hurting you tai!"

  
  


She froze as it occurred to her that she had just revealed the biggest secret she had to the last person she wanted to know it.....

  
  


Tai froze as he too realized what she had just confessed. He searched her eyes and found that she had meant it. The look in those eyes were unmistakable it was the look he had hoped to see for years upon years... and now it was staring him in the face....

He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off....

  
  


"I've loved you since I was a little girl tai.... I have felt you inside my heart from the first day...

  
  


I don't think I could make it if I didn't have you.... that's why it is hurting me so much to know that you don't trust me with this....

  
  


Your life is part of mine tai.... wether you want it to be or not, it is.... no fighting it...." she let the tears slide down her cheeks.

  
  


"I love you Taichi.... for better or worse I do...." the words poured from her lips. They had been held under her breath for so long that now that they were freed from the secret, they flew as doves from the cage.

  
  


Sora turned to run. But found herself scooped into the arms she longed to feel for so long. They spun her around softly. She found herself looking into his eyes, they seemed to smile sadly.

  
  


"I wanted you to hate me........" he said softly.

  
  


"But...why?" she asked with a questioning look at the grim smile on his lips.

  
  


"You don't miss the people you hate." he said in a voice of great sadness.....

  
  


Her eyes widened slowly....

  
  


"Miss?..........." she said with growing fear.

  
  


He nodded.

  
  


"last week during my checkup they think they found something...... They think it's cancer." he choked out.

  
  


Sora's face turned white with terror.

  
  


"C...c... cancer? 

  
  


"Yeah... They're ninety percent sure that it is... the final results are due in tomorrow. And if it's positive... they won't be able to do anything." He said as he held her trembling form....

  
  


"How long Taichi?...." she said as tears poured from her eyes.

  
  


"I'll be lucky to see Christmas." he said as he put his forehead to her own.....

  
  
  
  


She cried out in anguish as she buried herself in his arms. Tai was taken off guard by this, but he wrapped her in his loving embrace.

  
  
  
  


*two leaves cling to the branch... one gust could rip them away from eachother forever.*

  
  


"what can I do for you tai?" she said softly from her place in tai's arms. The tears continued to fall without relent.

  
  


"Be with me..... " he said softly into her hair.

  
  


She looked into his eyes, then reached to her shirt with the intent to give herself to the boy she loved with all her heart. But just as her shirt was passing her navel he put his hands to hers and stopped her. She looked at him questioningly.

  
  


"I didn't mean it like that Sora... I just want you to stay with me until the results come in tomorrow. I kinda don't want to be alone for it....." he said as he smiled into her eyes.

  
  
  
  


**********************************

  
  


tai sat alone in his room as he waited for Sora to finish getting ready for bed.

  
  


He realized just how much he would miss all this. Life.... it had never seemed as precious before. Each second he spent with her was more valuable than a year without her. A moment with Sora was all that mattered....

  
  


He didn't want to die for a lot of reasons.... but the main one was for her...... if he died she would be heartbroken, that was what bothered tai a thousand times more than the fact that he may die. Death was second to Sora.....

  
  


He felt his eyes sting with tears. He would miss her so much....

  
  


"Please..... I don't want to leave yet.... I can't leave her......" he whispered into the heavens.

  
  
  
  


Sora came in wearing one of tai's long t-shirts. She smiled sweetly at him as she stroked the fabric. Tai grinned happily as she gracefully leapt into his arms. He spun her around once before he lowered her into his bead, then joined her under the soft quilt. The two smiled happily as they wrapped their arms around one another. The shadow that had fallen over their life seemed so far away.

  
  


"Glad you like the shirt..... you know I will be wanting it back......" tai smirked.

  
  


"Over my dead body...... " she froze realizing what she had said. Tears began to creep down her cheeks once again. With soft movements tai wiped them away.

  
  
  
  


"Sora... I'm just as afraid as you are... but if I have two weeks or twenty years.... I want to spend it with you."

  
  


She snuggled into his arms and was soon asleep. Tai smiled sadly as he looked at her sleeping form. "You must have been tired...." he soothed.

  
  


He smiled down on her as he stroked her hair. That's how he spent the night, just looking down on her. It was painful in a way...... he didn't want to leave this. 

  
  


He thought of many things...

  
  


Dying... he was afraid..... but not so afraid as to dread it... he was strangely calm with the knowledge that death was at his doorstep, and one phone call could mean his life or his death tomorrow.

  
  


Sora.... The thought of her living on without him was strangely painful.... 

her falling in love with someone else.....

Her marrying them.....

Children.......

  
  


He had mixed emotions.... on one hand he wanted her to be happy..... but on the other he wanted her happy with him...

  
  


Tai believed in god... he wondered if he would be able to watch her as she grew up.... he knew she would grow to be a beautiful woman, smart and caring...... everything tai wanted to be a part in....

  
  
  
  


She said she loved him....... tai cursed his timing.... "This would happen just before I die..." he thought with bitter humor. How could he tell her now?.... "Sure Sora I love you, now lets spend my last few months on earth together, so it'll really hurt when I die." tai growled with sarcasm.

  
  


"I don't want to hurt you anymore, Sora" he whispered into her hair.

  
  
  
  


**********************************

  
  
  
  


"Good morning." tai said as he smiled down at the two crimson eyes who were peeking out from the sheets. 

  
  


"Mmmm... morning tai....." Sora said as stretched. 

  
  


Tai brushed the hair from her face gently. He smiled at the look of innocence as she slowly rose up next to him. They exchanged a few glances before slowly getting up for breakfast. The morning was slow and leisurely.... but through it all both of them were listening for the sound of a phone call that would mean life or death to one of them...

  
  
  
  


"Tai.... you remember what I told you last night.... about me loving you?" Sora asked nervously........

  
  


"yeah.... Sora.....?" tai said softly.

  
  


"Never mind......" she looked disappointed and turned to get dressed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt tai had grabbed from Kari's room for her earlier in the morning.

She was to the door when tai's voice reached her.

  
  


"Sora... There's something I have been meaning to tell you...... it isn't easy, and I only realized it lately......"

  
  


Sora turned to face him.

  
  


"You see.... I think I have fallen madly in love with my best friend....."he said as he grinned at the look of happiness that was beginning to sweep over her face.

  
  


She walked to him slowly. Just inches apart they paused. With slow gentle movements tai snaked his arms around her waist. And then ever so slowly they touched their lips together for the first time. Suddenly Sora broke away from a shocked tai. He looked to her with a questioning expression on his face, she grinned

  
  


"Your best friend huh?........ you better not mean matt." she chuckled

  
  


he playfully punched her arm. "Sweetie..... shut up"

  
  


she giggled before grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him into a deep kiss. Their first true kiss. It was a passionate one as tai found himself lowering her onto the bed without breaking the contact between them. Tai's hands stroked her hair softly as he claimed her lips for his own with that one kiss born of the truest love.

  
  


The sweet and kindness of their first kiss was shattered by the scream of the phone as it began to ring.......

  
  


Tai hesitantly walked over to it, then with a shaking hand lifted up the receiver. He was scared........ without a motion from tai, Sora walked to him and took his freehand in her own.

  
  


In that one moment... time froze for the two.........

  
  


**********************************

  
  
  
  
  
  


Sora stood alone on the same rooftop she had found tai perched upon so many years ago. She remembered it with the same clarity as a photograph. The sky burned the same crimson light as the sun set as it had on that one day. Sora sighed as she felt the cool night breezes rushing through her long auburn hair.

  
  


It was this day four years ago that tai had gotten the call that had changed his life.... Sora smirked with a emotionless chuckle.

  
  


"Such a strange anniversary......"

  
  


She looked down over the bay. It was beautiful... like a sea of shimmering rubies.

  
  


The city around them was still and silent below, all the screaming horns...and noise of the busy metropolis seemed at a distance as she stood there. The wind howled out a mournful reminder of the worst and best day of her life. The day tai got the call..... and the day Sora realized she could loose something so precious to her.....

"live each day to it's fullest.... never miss an opportunity to be happy.... and never give up on something...." that is what this day had taught her.....

  
  


A single tear ran down her cheek.

  
  


With a gentle touch she found it whipped from her cheek.

  
  


"I thought you would forget....".

  
  


"Never........" she said softly, as she turned to the young man before her. His soft chocolate eyes shimmering in the setting sun.

"This was the day my life began Sora.... this is the day I found you......" Tai said as he kissed her wedding band. She mimicked the act with equal tenderness.

  
  


"You know I love you Sora......"

  
  


"I love you too tai..."

  
  


They linked arms and turned to face the setting sun beyond the horizon. It shimmered with one last golden ray before it vanished away into the night.

  
  
  
  


The End

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Death is a part of life. From birth we are destined to die yet the key is to live between the beginning and the end. Our journey is not accomplished by reaching the end. A quest is not remembered for the destination, it is made legend by the act of reaching that destination.

To fear death so much that you alienate yourself to life means we are already gone

  
  


Your born, you die 

what you do between the two is up to you, 

and if you're really lucky you find love in the process."

   [1]: mailto:logan91235@aol.com



End file.
